Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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