I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
