you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
