we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Everyone says I win the strip club
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize