I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
