My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
