I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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