I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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