Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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