just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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