"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
