He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
the liver wants what the liver wants
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
