I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
are you so shy because you have an std?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize