Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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