my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
