well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think my fart just growled at me.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
two words...techno handjob
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
