no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was born a porn star she said
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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