i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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