I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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