First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
