How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He did a backflip because drugs
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize