If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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