I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
