I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
