It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
