Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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