so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
