Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
