just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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