hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
