can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i drank out of a bidet.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
