Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i think i just lost a toe
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
