you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
