Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
