he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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