I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize