he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
