if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
