I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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