I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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