Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
