if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
