Screwed.edu
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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