i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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