Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
