McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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