I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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