WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize