White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
