Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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