All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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