Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
there is puke in my bra ... again
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