i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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