Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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