i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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