Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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