If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize