Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
