If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
