I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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