I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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