mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
