OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
