its not stalking. its research.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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