You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize