she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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