i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
