i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
