I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
