I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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