I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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