Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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