all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So many bounce houses so little time
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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