From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
