ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
