By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
