There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
