your thong is hanging out like whoa
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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