I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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