She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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